You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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