yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
