Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
