My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.