Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..