508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"