no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
