i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.