I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
