Don't you send me to vm
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
