My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
