The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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