I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize