Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
