Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
