At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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