If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
