do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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