"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
