Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i barfeds in our rink
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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