I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
