is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
there is glitter all over my balls
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
