K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he puts the penis in happiness.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
