it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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