she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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