So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
time to smoke my breakfast
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
