Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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