Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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