Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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