not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
