Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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