absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
