you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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