yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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