My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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