I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
