bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am available for nakedness
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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