i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize