Just fell off a train. Bad.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
