You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
