do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
