I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
