do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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