Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
