Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
