Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
