i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
