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Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
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