You smell like stripper and shame
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
