Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
