I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
