Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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