return my video game
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
