yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
