Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
third nipple confirmed
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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