I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
