We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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