i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing