"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
