dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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