thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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