Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
