Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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